A Parent Who Has Read Goodnight Moon 4,000 Times
Let me tell you how this started.
It was 2am. My toddler had woken up for the third time, demanding—not asking, demanding—that I read a certain book about a certain piece of construction equipment. A book with prose so leaden it could be used as a doorstop. A book with illustrations that looked like they were generated by a committee who had never seen joy. A book that somehow, inexplicably, my child was obsessed with.
As I droned through those pages for what felt like the thousandth time, I made a decision: never again. Never again would I allow a bad book to infiltrate our home library. Never again would I suffer through rhymes that don’t quite rhyme and stories that don’t quite story.
The Kids Book Snob was born.
Our Philosophy
We believe that children’s books should be good. Revolutionary, I know.
More specifically, we believe that the best children’s books work on two levels: genuinely engaging for the child, and genuinely tolerable (even enjoyable) for the adult reading them aloud. These books exist. They’re just buried under mountains of cash-grab merchandise tie-ins and algorithmically-optimised “learning moment” content.
We’re here to dig them out.
What You’ll Find Here
Ruthlessly honest reviews of picture books for ages 0-5, the years when your child controls your reading life and hasn’t yet developed the ability to read independently (and leave you in peace).
Each review includes:
- A verdict: Surprisingly Tolerable, Actually Good, or Masterpiece
- A Parent Survival Rating (how it holds up on read #47)
- Honest assessment of illustrations, prose, and staying power
- Who the book is really for—because not every great book is great for every kid
The Fine Print
Yes, some of our links are affiliate links. We need to fund this book-buying habit somehow. Rest assured: our opinions remain ruthlessly honest. We gain nothing from recommending bad books except your justified contempt—and we have standards to maintain.
Because life’s too short for bad bedtime stories.
What We Stand Against
Bad Prose
Life is too short for clunky sentences that trip over themselves. If it doesn't flow when read aloud for the 47th time, it doesn't belong on your shelf.
Pretty But Empty
Colourful trucks and sparkly princesses do not a good book make. We demand substance beneath the illustrations.
Shoehorned Lessons
If a book exists solely to teach your child about sharing/feelings/the alphabet, it probably forgot to also be enjoyable. Teaching through tedium is still tedium.